13.8 Billion BC

• The universe is formed; Jess and Jay do not yet exist.

10,000 BC

• The ancient Egyptians develop spaceflight; teach many alien civilizations how to build pyramids from stone.

19?? AD

• October 6^th Jessica McCaughey is born. 0

1992 AD

• Jay discovers the Simpsons; a powerful and loving relationship begins.

1995 AD

• June 4^th Jay realizes that his only weakness is that he is weak.

1998 AD

• September 24^th Jess gets over her fear of somebody washing her mouth out with soap when she realizes that there is a special kind of mouth-soap that comes in the form of a minty paste.

2009 AD

• August Jess and Jay meet each other at the Writing Center at George Mason University.
• September Sarah Silberman realizes Jay is Indian, doesn’t know how to feel about that.
• November Jess and Jay bond over their love/hate of the Jersey Shore at Brian and Maria’s apartment in Washington, DC.

2010 AD

• January 22^nd Jess and Jay have their first date watching Conan’s final show as host of the Tonight Show.
• February Jay makes Jess watch all of Deadwood; somehow Jess does not get the impression Jay is a crazy person.
• March 6^th Jay reports to the Writing Center for work; Jess makes fun of him for a “tummy ache” which later turns out to be an inflamed appendix that needs to be removed with surgery due to an infection. Jess stands by her “tummy ache” comments.

2011 AD

• August Jay Patel will later see Brian Fitzpatrick in the car after a vacation at the beach. Says as much in Brian’s yearbook.

2012 AD

• May Natalie McCaughey is born. Jay can’t wait for the day that she realizes Uncle Jay is “a little different from the rest of the family.”

2014 AD

• June 10^th Jay proposes to Jess at Westover Park in Arlington, Virginia. Both then spend the next hour trying not to vomit.
• August 11^th Jess discovers Srugim; a powerful and loving relationship begins.

2015 AD

• August 8^th Jess and Jay are married in Fredericksburg, Virginia. Leslie Maxwell does NOT ruin the wedding.